Everything happens for a reason

I hear this said often - "Everything happens for a reason".  This statement is usually left open ended.  It is absolutely true, but there is no help from that statement until the "reason" is discovered.  Where I hear this most is people referring to God as the reason.  It is meant as a comforting statement - like when a loved one dies someone may say this and even follow up with "God wanted your loved one with Him."  This is not comforting to me and it is bad theology.  What we see in the Bible is that everything does happen for a reason and often that reason is because of our decisions - sometimes it is weather or timing or another person exercising their free will to inflict pain upon you, but usually because of our choices.  This statement is the other side of the coin to the "Devil made me do it" statement.  It happened for a reason is a way of saying this is Gods fault without coming right out and saying that.

For the last 6 months I have gone through some very difficult times, I have caused serious pain in others lives and damaged relationships.  It would be so nice and easy to say it all happened for a reason, like God wanted this to happen so the good things that are happening now could come to fruition.  I cry foul - I can directly link most of the bad things that have occurred over the last 6 months to decisions I have made.  Some of those decisions were terrifyingly stupid and bad, some were the best decision I could make at that time with the information I had.  Regardless, I refuse to lay the blame at God's feet for my poor choices.  The flippant "everything happens for a reason" answer does not satisfy, is not accurate in its implications and prevents learning from our mistakes.  What I will lay at His feet is the credit for bringing good out of disaster, for healing people and relationships and for restoration.  That all happens for a reason too - because He loves me and you!